Originally Published in The Greenwich Girl Magazine, written by Judy Finelli
The holidays are a unique time of the year more so than any other marked on the calendar. Emotions are high from all angles.. kids are excited, parents are too (for the most part) and yet somewhere in between are awful feelings too tough to shake off sometimes. Although these emotions are deeply rooted in love and joy, paradoxically, as we get older and depending on what’s going on in our lives, the holidays can bring on unbelievable stress and deep depression.
Now I’m not here to burst bubbles or beckon a dark cloud over a season that generally leaves us feeling warm and fuzzy all over; but to acknowledge that not everyone finds the holidays “the most wonderful time of the year”. Why, you may ask? A myriad of reasons really. Drawing on fresh experience I’ve seen that one of the reasons hearts tend to be heavy and emotions high is when there are family members missing from what used to be a complete portrait. The result of life occurrences such as divorce, unresolved issues, even death.. you get the picture. Sometimes these emotions cause so much stress in people that it can easily lead them on a self destructive route.
But here are some things to consider towards having less stress and perhaps even a lighter heart this Holiday Season dear friend:
Gratitude: Be grateful for being here and for the things that have made the year tolerable so far (being grateful for having your Life is always a great place to start.)
Forgiveness: Did someone screw up in your eyes? Ask yourself if you can forgive. If whatever was done is something so awfully unjustifiable, make a promise to yourself to not allow “this thing” or anyone damper your joy nor dim your light not even for a second. Move on.. NEXT!
Apology: If you screwed up.. be a better person and apologize. I guarantee that by doing so, you’ll start to feel lighter. Is it humbling? Yes.. but you’ll more than likely gain your dignity and respect in the process.
Being present: Enjoy this time for what it is meant to be. What do the holidays mean to you? Is it about the expectations of others and meeting those expectations or something more? If you feel you have to re-evaluate now is definitely the time to do so.
Engagement: Is a loved one missing from the table this year? Believe me, I know how difficult that can be. If the person is still alive, call them and let them know you care or make it a point to make time to see them on your own if at all possible. Make up if feelings have been hurt and do your best to move forward.
If the void in your heart is caused by the demise of a loved one..
Know your feelings are more than valid. Find ways to honor the individual’s memory in your own special way. Here’s something that worked for me and encourage you to try..
Start by writing a letter to the deceased as if he/she moved away unexpectedly and you just don’t know when you’ll be able to speak again. Pour what’s in your heart freely and without judgement on to pages. Read it out loud in private and then let it go by ripping it up.
Perhaps it’s the person’s cooking or joyful presence you are missing.. if so, honor the person by making one of their favorite dishes and thanking them out loud for giving you that gift. It takes time, but do your best to draw people in and not shut them out. Surround yourself with as many positive and joyful people as possible which may lead to building meaningful relationships.
Lastly..
Take great care of yourself: Whatever this may mean to you, find ways to have breathing room in your life now and all year round. Eat well, sleep well, drink plenty of quality fluids (that expensive Scotch/vodka doesn’t count so take it easy on your liver!) Reflect and look ahead to what you desire most.
Enjoy this holiday season to the fullest. Be open to the aforementioned and perhaps you’ll invite more love into your life than you ever thought possible allowing you to feel less stress and more joy in your heart. Isn’t that a great starting point in making your heart feel light?
Be Well~
Jude
Judy Finelli, AADP is an Integrative Nutrition Health & Lifestyle Coach, writer, blogger, and budding food photographer. She lives in New York with her husband and two children. Follow her on Instagram @mamiwellness, Periscope @judefinelli & mamiwellness.com
bFierce. 